I come from a big, dysfunctional family.  My mom grew up in a big, dysfunctional family and my dad is one of two sons who also grew up in a different type of dysfunctional family.  So, I wonder if every family is truly dysfunctional in some way!!  I want to break that cycle for my kids.  I have thought about how to do that.  My husband comes from a very "normal" family so I know that at the very least, my kids can learn that family does not have to be AS dysfunctional as mine.  I thought if I put my experience in black and white, the whole process might just help me see what some of the bigger issues are and just give me a new perspective on how to handle different situations.  I'm hoping that I can read through and see patterns that I can't formulate in my mind.  I know, without a doubt, that my mom is at the absolute center of it all.  I think she never dealt with things that happened during her childhood and that probably has a lot to do with how she both forms and deals with relationships.  My dad is a whole different kind of dysfunctional!!  He is probably both the most serious, feared person in our family but at the same time the most generous and kind person you'll ever meet.  I have little hope of figuring out how or why he is the way he is because he's just so complicated.  I don't know, though, maybe this will give me some insight I haven't had before.  I have two sisters and we are each so different that you'd swear we were all raised by different people!  So, if anyone happens across my blogs and reads them, this is why they are what they are!  I guess it's kind of a glimpse into each of my family member's lives.  Of course I will never use their real names.  My intention for writing this blog is not to embarrass or "out" anyone.  I could have written this without posting it anywhere, but I'm hoping if someone comes across it, takes the time to read it, I can either help someone or be helped.  So tomorrow I'll start with "Mom" who may be a whole week's worth of blogs...yikes!! Oh, and I should mention that I have absolutely no idea how to blog except this whole typing a paragraph part so "bless this mess" is going to be how I describe my blog style!